i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
