I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Found the puke drawer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
