If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
