dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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