Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
