I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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