I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
