batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
