The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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