I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
