I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
