week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
