I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
