4 words: hood of his car
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
BRING THE BAGELS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
