i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
