Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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