The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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