i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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