she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I touched a dick in church today
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
