I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
