I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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