i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
