maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
