i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
