I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
