she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
