this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
