what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
