dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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