So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
