im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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