question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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