i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
