I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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