did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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