ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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