no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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