oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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