I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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