A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
