There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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