Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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