She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
