she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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