Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
