I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
