I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
