Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
we should paint friendship bongs
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
