I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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