..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
