I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
